Women will always like a hero. There's nothing more manly than a man who's brave, true and just... unfortunately, very few of us actually are. A few well-placed good deeds, however, will have a fair maiden swooning at your heroic conduct.
Some of these strategies may seem far-fetched, but they will all get the job done. They're designed to make you look good in front of the ladies, with little work on your part. All you need are some good friends and some spare change.
Just remember; use these tips at your own risk. And just in case you're actually thinking of taking this article seriously, let me be clear that it's meant as a joke.
Number 10
Save an animal from a tree
Shove an animal up a tree. It doesn't matter what kind of animal, as long as it will look frightened and remain in that tree for long enough for her to witness you saving it. Little kittens are ideal -- pick one up at the ASPCA.
Try and let her spot the animal in trouble by steering the conversation towards nature and how much you love hugging trees and rolling around on the lawn. When she spots the distressed creature, do not hesitate and spring into action (avoid humming the Superman theme tune as you do so). After the heroic deed is done, give the animal to her -- she'll be dazzled by your gentle, caring nature.
Number 9
Foil a robbery
We all saw this work in the movie Mr. Deeds , so why shouldn't it in real life? Conspire with a good mate (to be dressed in a fashionable balaclava) to have him snatch your date's purse as you take a leisurely stroll through a secluded park. Make sure there are no other recreational walkers around to steal your thunder or beckon the police.
As you distract her with a proclamation of your longing to join Greenpeace, let your good friend grab the purse. Begin the chase, getting far away enough to be out of earshot, but close enough that she can still see your heroic tackle. Rain down blows upon your friend as you promise to buy him a beer for every bruise you inflict. As you retrieve the purse, let him conveniently escape and exclaim that at least you got her property back. Show concern as she makes sure that nothing is missing. Graciously accept a kiss.
Number 8
Join Greenpeace
Here's your chance to give her the impression that you're not all talk. Orchestrate a candlelit dinner and confess that you have fulfilled your longing and joined Greenpeace. Admit again to your lifelong dream to swim free with the penguins... after you've scrubbed all the oil off the little suckers. Exclaim that you will be called into action in a week, so you'd both better make the most of your remaining time together.
Construct and mail yourself a letter the following day declaring that Greenpeace already has too many volunteers, so you have been made an honorary, inactive member. She'll be delighted that you'll be staying, and still in awe of your selfless gesture. Remark that, unlike penguins, you like to be massaged with oil.
Number 7
Save a drowning child
Here's your chance to be more heroic than David Hasselhoff. While at the beach or any other public body of water, find a child willing to be bribed. Try for a little redhead boy; they are usually the most corrupt. Make the deal. Later, as you are sensually applying lotion to your date's back, exclaim that a child is drowning.
Make sure you are wearing red trunks, la Hasselhoff, and dash in without fear of consequence to your own life. Pull the poor child to safety. As he hugs you in gratitude, slip the 50 you promised him. Be modest as she insists on putting more lotion on your back.
Number 6
Put out a fire
Women rate firemen as sexy. Show her you are brave enough to take on one of nature's fiercest elements. Save yourself the risk of property damage and be an amateur arsonist at her place. Tinker with some detergents and ensure that the oven is carelessly left on -- make sure to engineer the disaster so that the flames will spread to the curtains.
Sit back and watch women's gymnastics together, until she comments that something smells like smoke. Investigate together and feign horror at her blazing kitchen. Dash in with the fire extinguisher you always keep in your car. While she praises your dangerous and heroic deed, make fire hose innuendoes.
Number 5 Fix her flat tire
This is by far the easiest (albeit the least glamorous) act to impress her with. Make sure your date is useless with handy work. Then simply release the air out of one of her tires when you are out on a date.
When she pouts at the inconvenience of a flat tire, tell her you'll have it fixed up in no time. Impress her with your Formula 1-like skills in whipping off and replacing the offending tire in mere minutes. Then brag how you did not even dirty your hands, but would like to be scrubbed in a tub anyway. Number 4Remove an unwanted guest
There is nothing more disconcerting to a woman than finding an uninvited creature in the house. Find out what she fears the most and release it into her home. Rats and tarantulas work well but, if you're feeling especially daring, nothing impresses a woman like a snake. Release it in her bathroom (likely the most confined space, where she's bound to notice it).
Keep pouring her large goblets of wine and, once it has done its job on her bladder, wait for the ear-piercing scream. Rush in and vow to take care of the errant beast. Capture it with the snake tongs you always keep in your car and gently release it into the wild, or hand it over to the professionals. She'll have another glass of wine to calm her nerves while you make snake innuendoes. Number 3Fend off a bully
Women have a soft spot for the weak... and a softer spot for the strong that defend the weak. Rely on your largest friend to act as a callous bully when you take your date to the movies. As he helps himself to the popcorn of defenseless children and ridicules the elderly, proclaim to her your intention to be the savior of the cinema.
Initiate the charade by announcing your ability to shatter a man with tae kwon do, and then go into the Karate Kid crane stance. After the signal wink, he'll retreat, leaving you to accept the thanks and adoration of the audience and your date. She will be delighted that you defused the situation without violence. Comment how your favorite movie is 9½ Weeks . Number 2Deliver a baby
This one will be damn near impossible, but if you can pull it off you'll be remembered forever by your adoring date. Hang around your pregnant friends and relatives and be ready for when nature takes its course. Donning your rubber gloves you always keep in your pocket, make sure that the woman in labor is okay with you tinkering south of the border. Remember shows like ER and Chicago Hope , and calmly recite the lines, "Keep pushing" and "You're doing fine... hang in there."
Graciously accept all praise and thanks from onlookers when you are holding the screaming bundle of joy. When your date displays awe, hold up your hands and express amazement at how they brought life into the world.
Number 1
Let her have the remote
This is the ultimate act of sacrifice for a man.
Plan a romantic evening in front of the tube. Have all the essentials on hand: candles, chocolate-covered strawberries and a few Meg Ryan videos. Remember; no pain, no gain. As you settle down to surf the satellite, hand her the remote and tell her to find something good. This blatant sacrifice of control and concern for your own selfish needs will have her mesmerized. Then, with your two hands now free, clasp them behind your head and let her feed you strawberries.
Be a Hero for a Day
It's amazing what a little bit of effort and a devious plan can achieve... provided she never finds out about it. But then again, even if she does, she might appreciate the effort you put in. So next time the woman of your dreams seems a little disinterested, its time to show her that you really are her knight in shining armor.
And once again, just in case you're actually thinking of taking this article seriously, let me be clear that it's meant as a joke.
Some of these strategies may seem far-fetched, but they will all get the job done. They're designed to make you look good in front of the ladies, with little work on your part. All you need are some good friends and some spare change.
Just remember; use these tips at your own risk. And just in case you're actually thinking of taking this article seriously, let me be clear that it's meant as a joke.
Number 10
Save an animal from a tree
Shove an animal up a tree. It doesn't matter what kind of animal, as long as it will look frightened and remain in that tree for long enough for her to witness you saving it. Little kittens are ideal -- pick one up at the ASPCA.
Try and let her spot the animal in trouble by steering the conversation towards nature and how much you love hugging trees and rolling around on the lawn. When she spots the distressed creature, do not hesitate and spring into action (avoid humming the Superman theme tune as you do so). After the heroic deed is done, give the animal to her -- she'll be dazzled by your gentle, caring nature.
Number 9
Foil a robbery
We all saw this work in the movie Mr. Deeds , so why shouldn't it in real life? Conspire with a good mate (to be dressed in a fashionable balaclava) to have him snatch your date's purse as you take a leisurely stroll through a secluded park. Make sure there are no other recreational walkers around to steal your thunder or beckon the police.
As you distract her with a proclamation of your longing to join Greenpeace, let your good friend grab the purse. Begin the chase, getting far away enough to be out of earshot, but close enough that she can still see your heroic tackle. Rain down blows upon your friend as you promise to buy him a beer for every bruise you inflict. As you retrieve the purse, let him conveniently escape and exclaim that at least you got her property back. Show concern as she makes sure that nothing is missing. Graciously accept a kiss.
Number 8
Join Greenpeace
Here's your chance to give her the impression that you're not all talk. Orchestrate a candlelit dinner and confess that you have fulfilled your longing and joined Greenpeace. Admit again to your lifelong dream to swim free with the penguins... after you've scrubbed all the oil off the little suckers. Exclaim that you will be called into action in a week, so you'd both better make the most of your remaining time together.
Construct and mail yourself a letter the following day declaring that Greenpeace already has too many volunteers, so you have been made an honorary, inactive member. She'll be delighted that you'll be staying, and still in awe of your selfless gesture. Remark that, unlike penguins, you like to be massaged with oil.
Number 7
Save a drowning child
Here's your chance to be more heroic than David Hasselhoff. While at the beach or any other public body of water, find a child willing to be bribed. Try for a little redhead boy; they are usually the most corrupt. Make the deal. Later, as you are sensually applying lotion to your date's back, exclaim that a child is drowning.
Make sure you are wearing red trunks, la Hasselhoff, and dash in without fear of consequence to your own life. Pull the poor child to safety. As he hugs you in gratitude, slip the 50 you promised him. Be modest as she insists on putting more lotion on your back.
Number 6
Put out a fire
Women rate firemen as sexy. Show her you are brave enough to take on one of nature's fiercest elements. Save yourself the risk of property damage and be an amateur arsonist at her place. Tinker with some detergents and ensure that the oven is carelessly left on -- make sure to engineer the disaster so that the flames will spread to the curtains.
Sit back and watch women's gymnastics together, until she comments that something smells like smoke. Investigate together and feign horror at her blazing kitchen. Dash in with the fire extinguisher you always keep in your car. While she praises your dangerous and heroic deed, make fire hose innuendoes.
Number 5 Fix her flat tire
This is by far the easiest (albeit the least glamorous) act to impress her with. Make sure your date is useless with handy work. Then simply release the air out of one of her tires when you are out on a date.
When she pouts at the inconvenience of a flat tire, tell her you'll have it fixed up in no time. Impress her with your Formula 1-like skills in whipping off and replacing the offending tire in mere minutes. Then brag how you did not even dirty your hands, but would like to be scrubbed in a tub anyway. Number 4Remove an unwanted guest
There is nothing more disconcerting to a woman than finding an uninvited creature in the house. Find out what she fears the most and release it into her home. Rats and tarantulas work well but, if you're feeling especially daring, nothing impresses a woman like a snake. Release it in her bathroom (likely the most confined space, where she's bound to notice it).
Keep pouring her large goblets of wine and, once it has done its job on her bladder, wait for the ear-piercing scream. Rush in and vow to take care of the errant beast. Capture it with the snake tongs you always keep in your car and gently release it into the wild, or hand it over to the professionals. She'll have another glass of wine to calm her nerves while you make snake innuendoes. Number 3Fend off a bully
Women have a soft spot for the weak... and a softer spot for the strong that defend the weak. Rely on your largest friend to act as a callous bully when you take your date to the movies. As he helps himself to the popcorn of defenseless children and ridicules the elderly, proclaim to her your intention to be the savior of the cinema.
Initiate the charade by announcing your ability to shatter a man with tae kwon do, and then go into the Karate Kid crane stance. After the signal wink, he'll retreat, leaving you to accept the thanks and adoration of the audience and your date. She will be delighted that you defused the situation without violence. Comment how your favorite movie is 9½ Weeks . Number 2Deliver a baby
This one will be damn near impossible, but if you can pull it off you'll be remembered forever by your adoring date. Hang around your pregnant friends and relatives and be ready for when nature takes its course. Donning your rubber gloves you always keep in your pocket, make sure that the woman in labor is okay with you tinkering south of the border. Remember shows like ER and Chicago Hope , and calmly recite the lines, "Keep pushing" and "You're doing fine... hang in there."
Graciously accept all praise and thanks from onlookers when you are holding the screaming bundle of joy. When your date displays awe, hold up your hands and express amazement at how they brought life into the world.
Number 1
Let her have the remote
This is the ultimate act of sacrifice for a man.
Plan a romantic evening in front of the tube. Have all the essentials on hand: candles, chocolate-covered strawberries and a few Meg Ryan videos. Remember; no pain, no gain. As you settle down to surf the satellite, hand her the remote and tell her to find something good. This blatant sacrifice of control and concern for your own selfish needs will have her mesmerized. Then, with your two hands now free, clasp them behind your head and let her feed you strawberries.
Be a Hero for a Day
It's amazing what a little bit of effort and a devious plan can achieve... provided she never finds out about it. But then again, even if she does, she might appreciate the effort you put in. So next time the woman of your dreams seems a little disinterested, its time to show her that you really are her knight in shining armor.
And once again, just in case you're actually thinking of taking this article seriously, let me be clear that it's meant as a joke.
ohhh really nice....have u ever tried dis...???
huh... not be a hero..but can still impress is my point..!!!
appadiya....????